Fear, Regret, and a Bridge to Peace

Can I be honest? Sometimes my everyday life does not feel sacred. Sometimes the music of my life sounds more like noise than song. Existence is exhausting. It feels routine in the most uninspired way. Drained of joy and beauty. Life feels like hard work that is never-ever-ever-ever going to get done. It feels scary….

Wake Up and Make Things

It is early morning. I stole away from the nursing baby and am sitting in my little quiet corner of the world, on my back-deck, surrounded by potted plants and birdsong. I am writing and contemplating my messy life. I am a homeschooling mother of seven children. My husband and I have a home business…

Every Choice Is Too Hard (Or, Where Is the Map For My Life?)

  Every choice is too hard.   Is there anybody out there who understands what I mean? I have started down a path for my life, and I honestly have no idea where this is going.  I have spent years traveling, hoping to stumble across at least a rudimentary map of what lies ahead.  But there…

Vision and Hindsight, A Tale of Two Lists

The year flew by.  This morning I was sitting at the kitchen table, lamenting all the things that I meant to do last year–my open journal with the list I scribbled down, wide-eyed, like a child on her birthday, a January ago.  Beautiful vision.  And just like that, I blinked, and those twelve months are…

Living an Unscripted Life

It is nearly September.  This is when I am always scrambling for a good idea for how to make life work around here.  We only get 24 hours a day.  There is so much to be done.  Every day is a combination of homeschool, home business (teaching music lessons most afternoons), explosive creativity that needs…

Living with Vision

I am up early this morning, before the little ones.  In my closet-office (where I sit in a corner at a small desk, typing this under a rack of hanging clothes), I am armed with a steaming mug of Darjeeling tea, a couple of Cinnamon-Orange-Almond-Spelt muffins, and the promise of a glorious uninterrupted hour of…

Family and Flexible Vision

I wish that I could find a (nonexistent) journal entry from back when I was in college where I said something like: “Ten years from now, I can see myself…”  And then I described the vision of my life.  The vision I had before marriage, before kids.  Wow. That would be good for a laugh….

The Daily Turn #26: One of Those Days

Today would have been a good dayfor all the people who post commentsabout how they don’t know how I do it allto walk into my house–Trying to sleep in too late,barging around about nothing,dropping the broom to the floorwith a thud just becausesomebody wants to eat again.Seeing the world as a series ofmesses that have…

Journaling, or The Story of My Life

When I was in kindergarten, my brother found my diary.  I remember it distinctly, because he paraded around the house with it, reading aloud, as if he were reading Shakespeare, “I do not know (emphatic pause…) if I am in love…”  I was so embarrassed that I grabbed the book and threw it behind my…