Today I send my most vulnerable and intimate words out into the world, written at moments in my life when grief was shaking me down to the very core. In this chapter of my book, I share about miscarriage and the death of my beautiful mother. These words chronicle the numbing pain of loss, the…
Tag: motherhood
My New Book: Chapter 2 Read Aloud (Podcast #35)
I have been looking so forward to today, knowing I would be reading the next chapter of my book, The Sacred Everyday: A Search for the Exquisite Beauty of an Ordinary Life. This book does not yet exist in print form, and you can only find it here on my podcast, where I’m releasing these…
Chapter 1 of My Book, The Sacred Everyday: A Search for the Exquisite Beauty of an Ordinary Life (A Read-Aloud Podcast #34)
Today I am brimming over with emotion. I cannot hold these words in any longer. In this special edition of the podcast, I am reading aloud the first chapter of my new book, The Sacred Everyday: A Search for the Exquisite Beauty of an Ordinary Life. The book has not yet been published (I talk…
Love Like Ocean Waves
It’s the ocean again. This time in a dream. I found out two friends would be traveling there, and I silently imagined myself asking them if they would mind if I tagged along. Without the fare of gas, with a place to stay, without a family to care for. There would be nearly no expense….
Open Journal: Heidi’s Birth Journal
Because I have eight children, people often assume that I just breeze my way through pregnancy and birth and that it is no big deal to me by now. If you have been with me any amount of time, you probably already know how life-changing every one of these births have been for me. How…
Motherhood When It’s All Too Much (Podcast #31)
Have you ever found yourself wondering what you were thinking when you believed you were capable of raising children into adulthood? Or have you ever been overwhelmed by a season in your family when it just all seemed too much? Sometimes, this happens to me. (Ok, it happens to me a lot…) I realize that…
Searching for More (Podcast #30)
It is human nature to want more. We are so easily caught up in the search–a better life for our children, a more meaningful existence, convenience, efficiency, easier, faster, better… There is a searching that leaves us restless with what we have been given. And there is another searching that steps back, reevaluates what we…
My Daughter Plays the Piano
My daughter plays the piano and I am carried through time. I hear the first chorded cry, after the lifesong of her body broke open my womb and burst forth like a melody. Our voices, separate, but blended as one. The movement of her youth is passed. A lively staccato that made us dance and…
Nothing is Wasted: Motherhood and the Surrendered Life (Podcast #29)
When I look back over what I dreamed my life would be 19 years into my marriage, I could not have imagined the impact motherhood would have on me. So many of the goals and aspirations of my life have shifted and refocused themselves into the everyday rhythms and rituals of raising a family and…
Rhythms for Motherhood and the Creative Life (Podcast 28)
This is the story of my life as a creative soul–going all the way back to my childhood, my teenage years, the early years of college and marriage, and then into the wonderful and difficult and all-consuming seasons of motherhood (15 years and 8 children into it..). I share the things I truly needed as…
The Sleeping Face of My Beautiful Boy
After the lullaby, I see the sleeping face of my beautiful boy, two years old. And at once, all the world is still. Time moves forth from this moment in reluctant ripples. Slow-moving reflections of memories, past and future that will become a whole life. Separate from my own, but always flowing in and out…
I Go Back to the Ocean of My Childhood
When you were a childdid you lose yourself at the seashoreand forget life aches? Did you run to the waters laughing? I go backto the ocean of my childhoodwhere I was a girlphotographed by my mother,my father looking out to sea I want the waves to whisper somethingbut they are stillsuspended in memorythey do not…