This chapter is a collection of writings that were born out of many difficult seasons of my life. The exhaustion of motherhood, the weight of raising a family, the struggle to find my breath after grief knocked the wind out of me. I share my search for hope and beauty in spite of, and often…
Tag: Hope
Standing in the Hallway of Sorrow (Chapter 3 Read-Aloud about The Search for Beauty in Grief)
Today I send my most vulnerable and intimate words out into the world, written at moments in my life when grief was shaking me down to the very core. In this chapter of my book, I share about miscarriage and the death of my beautiful mother. These words chronicle the numbing pain of loss, the…
My New Book: Chapter 2 Read Aloud
I have been looking so forward to today, knowing I would be reading the next chapter of my book, The Sacred Everyday: A Search for the Exquisite Beauty of an Ordinary Life. This book does not yet exist in print form, and you can only find it here on my podcast, where I’m releasing these…
Chapter 1 of My Book, The Sacred Everyday: A Search for the Exquisite Beauty of an Ordinary Life (A Read-Aloud)
Today I am brimming over with emotion. I cannot hold these words in any longer. In this special edition of the podcast, I am reading aloud the first chapter of my new book, The Sacred Everyday: A Search for the Exquisite Beauty of an Ordinary Life. The book has not yet been published (I talk…
Dear Friends (Family Newsletter)
Dear friends, For some time, I have been wanting to write a newslettery kind of post to let you know a little more about my life, our family, and what is going on in my heart. At the end of the post, I will be asking you a question–feel free to respond in the comments,…
Open Journal: Heidi’s Birth Journal
Because I have eight children, people often assume that I just breeze my way through pregnancy and birth and that it is no big deal to me by now. If you have been with me any amount of time, you probably already know how life-changing every one of these births have been for me. How…
Motherhood When It’s All Too Much (Podcast #32)
Have you ever found yourself wondering what you were thinking when you believed you were capable of raising children into adulthood? Or have you ever been overwhelmed by a season in your family when it just all seemed too much? Sometimes, this happens to me. (Ok, it happens to me a lot…) I realize that…
The Sleeping Face of My Beautiful Boy
After the lullaby, I see the sleeping face of my beautiful boy, two years old. And at once, all the world is still. Time moves forth from this moment in reluctant ripples. Slow-moving reflections of memories, past and future that will become a whole life. Separate from my own, but always flowing in and out…
my heart trembles and sings
my own dear child eyes of bluest bright, alight body in holy motionbrimming over with lifesongand the beating, beating, beating heart beautiful breath that flows inside you like a melody for the gift of your love and living presence my heart trembles and sings (This is the image I saw outside my office window as…
I Go Back to the Ocean of My Childhood
When you were a childdid you lose yourself at the seashoreand forget life aches? Did you run to the waters laughing? I go backto the ocean of my childhoodwhere I was a girlphotographed by my mother,my father looking out to sea I want the waves to whisper somethingbut they are stillsuspended in memorythey do not…
Motherhood Begins With Surrender
Motherhood begins with surrender.For the sake of love, yes,but surrender all the samethe body the mind the soul the spiritbends to the body that breaks openthe womb, the silent seedthat buries itself into the earthof the secret place within If birth isn’t surrenderForget everything I’ve ever saidOr don’t you remember when all you could do…
The Great Value of a Hidden Life (Podcast #26)
Sometimes motherhood can make me feel very small. I have such ideas and plans and ambitions and so little time to devote to anything but what seems like the most basic of needs. God has been impressing on my heart the beauty and great value of the hidden life, here in this house, raising my…