Helpless (When Faith Trembles)

Helpless. The word rose up out of my mind and offered itself to me in the middle of a dark night. I held a feverish child in my arms, watched his labored breathing, imagined the flickering candle of his precious little life before my eyes. My mind traveled farther than I meant it to go,…

There Is a Woman in the Mirror

There is a woman in the mirror that shares my face but does not know who I am. She mimics my every move with nuanced attention to detail–the slight raise of brow, the synchronized blink and focus, the parting lips and hint of smile… Her performance is flawless. But she does not know what I…

It’s Going to Be Okay

Sometimes I travel through time. Usually in the middle of the night, when I am awake with babies on either side of me, not daring to move lest I wake them and lose the few precious moments I have in my life to let my thoughts flow without interruption. During the days, the needs take…

Storm on the Horizon

We spent a glorious four days at the seashore. We walked, we ran, we swam, we splashed. We saw the water tame and the water wild. We saw the sunrise and sunset. We saw the first sliver of moon over the dark waters. I held my newborn baby in the wind and sun and salty…

This Morning I Was Born

This morning I was born. My mother struggled with birth until dawn. I went home in her arms. I cried. I slept. My eyes focused on her beautiful, ephemeral face, familiar somehow though I had never seen it before. While she was getting pancakes on the table, I bounced on my sister’s knee. I listened…

The Birth Story of Haven McCabe

Our baby’s due date came and went without the first sign of nearing labor. Each following day could have been the perfect beginning of a birth story. The day Randy discovered the song of the wood thrush and absorbed himself in writing a piece of music using the intervals of the bird’s song. There was…

Keeping Part of You Alive (Motherhood and Creative Vision)

Sometimes I look in the mirror and barely recognize myself.  What happened to that person I used to be–the one who was bubbling over with good ideas and introduced to strangers with an impressive trail of accomplishments following her name?  The person who had dreams and ambitions greater than getting every room in the house…

30 Day Journaling Challenge

When it comes to journaling, I am a believer.  As I have written in a recent blog post—journaling is the heartbeat of my creative life.  It is the starting point for every good idea I have ever had.  It is the way I reflect on and process my life.  It is like a mirror for…