Standing at the Edge of a World

A woman on the verge of birth
Is standing at the edge of a world.
She moves through the rhythms
Of her normal life
While preparing to travel,
Led by the loving voice of God,
Somewhere no one else can follow.
The hidden path that opens itself
Only once.
The passage she alone
Can pass through.

As I have been moving through the last few days of waiting on Haven, our baby boy, to be born, I am aware of the strangeness of living in this beautiful, ordinary world and standing on the edge of something that is so much bigger than the mundane rituals of my life. There is breakfast and picture books and conversations, a game of cards, a walk around the block, jobs, dishes, laundry, small emergencies, bedtime routines, exhaustion, laughter, tears, audiobooks, music, drawings, words… All interspersed with flashes of imagery of my previous births. Knowing that I am moving in that direction, and the only way to get to this baby is to pass through a similar but new experience one more time. I breathe in the scent of the ones I most love, knowing I am going to have to leave them for a short time to travel across this world and into the realm of another to bring our baby home. I am living in the space between here and a miracle again.

Birth is incredible. I have come to see it as my greatest act of worship. Surely this is the life-work that I alone can do. There is no other body that can bring this particular eternal soul into the world. There is no one else who can walk this road for me. There is no one else who can carry this sweet baby back across the threshold of life to life. Surely God has called me to this moment, to face it with supernatural strength, and inexplicable peace, and great joy. I feel His deep pleasure in the life of this child. I know that He is with me. That as the way opens up before me, He will guide me through. And my life will be forever changed by the profound experience of bringing Haven home.

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