I am going to be painfully honest. There have been so many times over the last nine years of blogging that I have wrestled with the deep desire that I have to share my writing. I have asked myself why I continue to keep showing up, why the blank spaces in my mind always bring me back to words that I want to say to anyone who will take the time to listen. Why I keep feeling such a desperation to keep this part of me alive amidst the daily clamor of my life as a homeschooling mother of seven (soon to be eight!) children. There is already enough to keep me busy forever with three meals a day and seasons of learning and cycles of pregnancy/birth/parenting/maintaining a house… Why, on top of all of this, do I have to have this longing to write?
And in especially difficult seasons, I look at my life and think, “Who am I to think that I have anything worth sharing?” I am acutely aware of all the ways in which my life is not perfect and tidy, and that my gifts are flip-sided with great struggles and weaknesses.
But when I really press in with prayer and vision for my life, I know that I have to keep finding ways to show up to theses pages. They have been a lifeline for me, if for no one else. It is on the pages of my journals and on the pages of my blog that I connect with the deeper meaning of my overwhelming but beautiful and sacred life.
A year ago today, I made a decision that has changed my life. I swatted away the thoughts telling me I have nothing worth sharing and that it would be a better use of my time to finally mop my kitchen floor, I swallowed my pride and put out an invitation for anyone who has been touched by my writing to consider supporting me on Patreon. I put it out there, hoping that people wouldn’t take it the wrong way. That it wouldn’t seem like I was begging for money. That someone would find joy in coming alongside what has honestly been a lonely road for nine long years.
Life can be full of surprises. I have been blown away. I cannot tell you what it has meant to me to have friends, family, and even people I have never met in person show up to invest in my creative voice and impact. Not only has it given me a budget for paying for my website and all costs associated with running this blog, it has given me a budget to be inspired, to feel like I can buy things that are essential to my creative life. There has been so little of this in these last nine years as we have struggled to balance a creative life with work that pays the bills and raising a family. This support has also literally bridged the gap in our financial stability as we have navigated these crazy months of raising a large family on a modest income as home-business owners in the middle of a pandemic. I am not exaggerating when I say every cent has made a difference.
But the real miracle is what having these beautiful people cheering me on has done to me on the inside. Having an inner circle like this of people who are saying–not only with words but with their hard-earned money–“You have a gift.” “The world needs to hear what you have to say.” “You have blessed me.” “You challenge me.” I wake up to this every day. Knowing that there are people who value the time and energy I am putting into my writing. They get me. And they are not only giving me permission to trust that I have something of value to share, but they are encouraging me and pushing me to to do the thing that makes me feel the most alive. To write, to share, to add my voice and offer hope. Life can be full of surprises. And how this support has nurtured my soul and fueled my creative fire will never cease to astound me.
It has been a remarkable year for me. A year of great joy and sadness. Every word that has poured out of my heart has been touched by both grief and deep gratitude. It has been a year of creative fire unlike any I have experienced in the last decade of my life. I created my Innermost Journaling Course, which I feel is a true lifeline I can offer up for the anxieties of the days in which we are living. With the help of my children, I created a free 3-Week Creative Family Culture Curriculum for Kids which I offer up in hopes that families will draw close to one another and find joy in making things together. I turned the camera around and began my Early Morning Read-Alouds, where I have loved having conversations on Facebook about journaling, parenting, overcoming fears, living with purpose, etc. I started an Instagram account and have been sharing photos and journal entries there. I have loved making more connections with my readers. I have loved the inspiration that has come from being held up with support.
The truth is this: People with creative vision can live a lonely existence. They can go through their lives with the burning desire to share and make an impact and to give something to the world but never find the time or resources to actually make it happen. This year, I have been blessed beyond measure to be surrounded by a group of people who, through their support, daily give me the courage, inspiration, time, and resources to do the work for which I was created. It is so humbling, so profoundly moving, and so directly-related to the impact my life will have on this world.
Sincerest gratitude to my Patreon supporters. Thank you for changing my life. I would love to invite you to visit my blog (The Sacred Everyday) and browse through the last year of posts, which you have largely inspired and made possible. So much love to all of you.
Sending you all the colors of fall, rainbow tea parties, and all the best kind of surprises,