If I could go back, I would walk with myself
like a mother and child
holding hands.
I would say:

Don’t be afraid of growing up.
Don’t worry that you may lose
one by one
(to imagined fires,
through open windows,
at the hands of nonexistent strangers)
every
one,
and that you couldn’t outlive
the ache of lost love.
You will waste a lot of time
thinking like that.
Learn an instrument.
Write a story.
Create a world with paper dolls.
Do something,
but don’t lay in bed awake,
afraid of what might happen.
I know how your life turns out,
at least for three decades,
and you
are going
to be
okay.

One day you will wonder
if you finally find
the person you want
to spend your life with,
what the chances are
that he could possibly
want to spend his life
with you.
You will wear caked-on
make-up
to hide your face
and shoes of every
height and color
To change your shape.
God will reach his hand into your heart
And stir up a hunger to love
and be loved
by Him,
and You will stop
needing to know
every
thing.
You will marry a man
who loves you
and will make life easy for you.
He will love you differently than you expect,
but you will love him for it because
It is better than you hoped.
You will have children.
You will walk with them,
as I am walking with you now,
And tell them
not to worry.
To live life fully,
without regrets,
to savor it
without fear.
Get away from the mirror.
Read a good book.
Take a nice, long, leisurely walk.
Plan a trip overseas.
Get a part-time job if you like.
Do anything!
but don’t waste a moment
of your precious life
laying in bed,
afraid of how it will
all turn out.

Relax.

It is going
to be
okay.