Every Choice Is Too Hard (Or, Where Is the Map For My Life?)

  Every choice is too hard.   Is there anybody out there who understands what I mean? I have started down a path for my life, and I honestly have no idea where this is going.  I have spent years traveling, hoping to stumble across at least a rudimentary map of what lies ahead.  But there…

The Woman and the Seed, A Parable

This is a true story.  It is the story of a woman who fell in love with a man.  She married him with a certain picture of what life would be like in the back of her mind.  It looked like a garden in springtime.  Everything beautiful was in bloom.  Every bird was singing. They…

Vision and Hindsight, A Tale of Two Lists

The year flew by.  This morning I was sitting at the kitchen table, lamenting all the things that I meant to do last year–my open journal with the list I scribbled down, wide-eyed, like a child on her birthday, a January ago.  Beautiful vision.  And just like that, I blinked, and those twelve months are…

Thoughts on My Mother and the Miracle of Existing in this World

My Mama had nine children.  I am the youngest.  The fact that I exist in this world at all is not a small miracle.  I see it all now, like the iconic scene in It’s a Wonderful Life, where Mary is closing up the library.  A world where I don’t exist.  My husband is scorching…

Living an Unscripted Life

It is nearly September.  This is when I am always scrambling for a good idea for how to make life work around here.  We only get 24 hours a day.  There is so much to be done.  Every day is a combination of homeschool, home business (teaching music lessons most afternoons), explosive creativity that needs…

Living with Vision

I am up early this morning, before the little ones.  In my closet-office (where I sit in a corner at a small desk, typing this under a rack of hanging clothes), I am armed with a steaming mug of Darjeeling tea, a couple of Cinnamon-Orange-Almond-Spelt muffins, and the promise of a glorious uninterrupted hour of…

Keeping Part of You Alive (Motherhood and Creative Vision)

Sometimes I look in the mirror and barely recognize myself.  What happened to that person I used to be–the one who was bubbling over with good ideas and introduced to strangers with an impressive trail of accomplishments following her name?  The person who had dreams and ambitions greater than getting every room in the house…

Family and Flexible Vision

I wish that I could find a (nonexistent) journal entry from back when I was in college where I said something like: “Ten years from now, I can see myself…”  And then I described the vision of my life.  The vision I had before marriage, before kids.  Wow. That would be good for a laugh….