This Is Not Working

This is not working. I say that all the time. The baby won’t stay in her bed.  This laundry pile stretches out infinitely from prehistoric past to all predictions of the future.  We are outgrowing the kitchen table, which is the biggest table we can fit in the kitchen.  Cat in the house.  Math.  Bedtime…

Having Children: A Spiritual Journey

Over the last few weeks, I have been rereading old blog posts and speculating about my life.  The past year has been both incredibly sweet and difficult, trying to balance daily life with six young children with all the demands of three meals a day, the never-ending laundry, growing a home business, homeschool, planning for…

Unfolding

It is such a mercy that life unfolds before us.  Ten years ago, if I had seen a photograph of my future-self this morning, driving along in a 15-passenger van with six children ages nine and under, I would have asked what any other stranger wants to know: Are they all mine?! And the answer…

Waiting on Azalea Jane, a birth story

I am writing this weeks after Azalea was born, and it reminds me of the way you feel the next morning after waking up from a nightmare.  In the middle of the night, a dream can feel so terrifying.  Your heart is pounding.  You felt that it was so real.  The next morning, when you…

The Best Day of My Life

Tomorrow is my due date.  I can hardly believe that in a few short hours or days, the secret face of this child will be revealed, and we will be holding her in our arms.  God has done a huge miracle in my life to make me brave for this day.  I wrote in my…

Slow Work

God is doing a slow work in me.   So many days it feels like nothing is happening.   Like my life, which once seemed so useful and productive, is making zero impact on the world.  The days when life was defined by an impressive string of accomplishments are lost somewhere at the bottom of the laundry…

Surrender: Listening for the Song

Our baby is 3 months old now.  We have settled into our new roles and are working ourselves into a more predictable pattern of living.  Life as a mother of five small children is a blur.  Every day has its own rhythm.  Sometimes it is like a song.  Sometimes it is total chaos. Last week was particularly hard…

Home

Life is starting to settle back into a rhythm for us.  The baby is almost two months old now.  Since she was born, a lot has happened in this house.  We sold our vocal booth, which has been taking up a third of our living room for a few years now.   We were given…

The Last Few Days of Pregnancy

I am in the last week or so of pregnancy.  I can feel my heart and my mind being pulled in so many different directions.  There is part of me that wants to sit down and enjoy the last few days of normal sleeping patterns, two free hands, the freedom to be away for more…

The Best Birthday Gift I Have Ever Been Given

Yesterday was my 33rd birthday.  I woke up to secret sounds in the kitchen as my girls decorated the holiday table for me with double table cloths and our fanciest china.  My three-year-old son came down to snuggle me.  In the monitor, I could hear the baby singing in his bed. I could never have…

Make Something Every Day

Over the past two weeks, I have begun to realize how much it means to me to make things.  As a mom of four (soon to be five) very creative little people who are constantly cutting and pasting and drawing and creating huge worlds out of sheets and pillows and clean laundry, I spend a…